The universe is on my mind, and sleep is nowhere to be found. Every once in a while, the sublime subtly sneaks up on me and simply takes over. I lean out my window as I smoke, staring up at the billions of tiny lights in the sky. The concept that each one of them is even larger than the sun is more than impossible for me to comprehend. The universe is so vast, and I am but a speck, a blotch in history, a mere hiccup in the galaxy…it is utterly astounding.
My mind drifts, and the opposite end of the spectrum bubbles to the forefront of my thoughts. My own body is made up of bits and pieces far too small to see, all working together, somehow allowing me to have these very thoughts. Scientists say that, on the molecular level, my body is largely empty space. Imagine that; this solid body is somehow far from solid. It is empty.
Yet, this giant sack of emptiness is filled to the brim with dreams, needs, and individual ideas. It boggles my mind. I will never understand it.
Ugh. I’m tired. I can’t sleep. What kind of stupid paradox is this?
I read somewhere that back in the good ole days (ya know, when Lincoln was president and stuff), people used to get up in the middle of the night and read or write. Just naturally. The thought of it is bizarre, until I realize that this is exactly what I do. I chuckle quietly to myself. Maybe I would have fit in better in a different time.
Life is a funny thing. Sometimes ha ha funny, but mostly strange funny. There is so much I don’t understand, so much I don’t know. I feel so small and insignificant. I’m sure once the sun awakes from its slumber, my selfish ways will return, and I will temporarily forget how puny I am. Temporarily.
Because, of course, at some point, this feeling will shake me awake and force me to contemplate these vast topics once more. It can be quite isolating, to be honest. The witching hour is probably the loneliest time one the clock. Insomnia is a bitch like that.
Guess I’ll lay back down and stare at the ceiling until it’s time for work. I wonder what’s on TV. Man, what a fantastic invention. Huh…I wonder how they work…time for a little bit of research.